Welcome to Living Well Daily, the newsletter serving up a daily dose of care designed to support you, cheer you on and remind you, always, just how wonderful you already are.

You are awesome!! We are proud of you!

This time of year, that pressure gets louder. “New year, new you” fills our feeds, paired with perfectly curated transformations that suggest if we just work harder (or buy the right thing) we’ll finally get it right.

But here’s the real question: does striving for perfection actually support our well-being?

Surprisingly, the answer is: it depends.

Research shows there are two types of perfectionism: adaptive (healthy) and maladaptive (unhealthy). Both involve high standards, but they feel very different in the body and mind.

Healthy perfectionism allows flexibility. It includes self-compassion, room for mistakes, and an understanding that progress counts.

Unhealthy perfectionism is rigid and punishing. Nothing is ever enough. Mistakes feel like failure. Rest feels undeserved. This is the kind of perfection that takes a real toll. It’s linked to burnout, anxiety, depression, and low self-worth. Ironically, it can also make us less likely to pursue goals (especially long-term or preventative ones) because the pressure feels overwhelming.

So here’s a gentle check-in: How do you relate to your standards? Do they motivate you… or drain you?

For a long time, my own perfectionism was firmly in the unhealthy camp. What helped most was realizing I didn’t need to eliminate perfectionism altogether: I just needed to make it kinder and more flexible.

Here’s what healthy perfectionism looks like in practice:

You don’t have to be flawless to be worthy, capable, or well. Sometimes the most supportive shift isn’t lowering your standards, but changing how you treat yourself while reaching for them.

✅ Action Step: Take a moment to reflect: What is your relationship to perfectionism?

To take this question further: Where in your life are your standards supportive and where might they be punishing? What would it look like to keep the goal, but soften the way you speak to yourself along the way?

^{Love, Lola Graham}

What you believe might actually change your health and your well-being. People say “getting older sucks,” and they are right. While others say “getting older is great,” and they are right, too. But how?

Research shows that what you believe about aging influences how you age. A study of over 4,000 participants who have a gene that makes them likely to develop dementia found that “those with positive age beliefs were 49.8% less likely to develop dementia than those with negative age beliefs.”

Another study tracked over 400 participants for decades and found that those with more positive beliefs about aging had better functional health than those who didn’t.

Another study of 439 participants found that as people age, these beliefs become even more important. People over 50 with negative beliefs about aging had 44% higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol compared to those who did not. This increase in cortisol levels wasn’t observed in younger people, even those with negative beliefs about aging.

All this research should tell you one thing: what you believe about aging matters.

Aging is a blessing; many don’t get the opportunity to grow older, and age doesn’t need to be a limiter for your life. Ageism is pervasive in our society, and it is well past time to ditch it. If you can improve your perspective on aging, your health will thank you.

✅Action step: take a look in the mirror and see how you view aging. If it is negative or neutral, take some time to reflect on how you can shift it towards becoming more positive.

^{By: Joshua Graham}

Before you go, let us know what you thought of today’s edition and if there are any subjects you would like us to cover in the future reply to this email and let us know!

If you find our newsletter helpful, we’d love for you to share it with a friend! If you’re that friend, you can subscribe here. Thanks for spreading the word! xo

With love and care,

Lola & Joshua | The Living Well Team

^{Living Well Daily is for educational purposes only and is in no way a substitute for professional medical and mental health advice and diagnosis. Please consult a qualified professional for care unique to your needs.}

^{Remember: It’s okay to ask for help. Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988 (Canada & US).}