Welcome to Living Well Daily, the newsletter serving up a daily dose of care designed to support you, cheer you on and remind you, always, just how wonderful you already are.

Embrace & encourage yourself like a dear friend. 
You are worthy of the same support 🧡

Learning to bring more calm into your life, to help balance out the hard, is a great way to build mental health and help you recover faster from difficult days. The beauty is that calm is a skill. And like any skill, it can be practiced. 

Your nervous system is constantly scanning for safety or threat. When it senses stress, it shifts into protection mode (tight muscles, shallow breath, racing thoughts, etc.). That response isn’t wrong. It’s human. But when it becomes your default, even small challenges can feel overwhelming.

Nervous system training helps your body remember another option: balance.

By practicing tiny moments of regulation throughout the day, you build the capacity to return to calm faster after stress. Not by bypassing what you feel, but by supporting your system through it. 

Everyone starts with a different baseline, so be gentle with yourself, wherever you are today, but don’t discount yourself. Find the nervous system technique that speaks to you a little more than the rest, and try building strength there first.

Everyday ways to build calm into your body:

You’re not trying to eliminate stress. You’re building a body that knows how to recover.

What happens if you use the technique 3x a day for a week, two weeks, or a month? How strong will that muscle get, and how might that impact your mental health? I hope you’ll find out!

✅ Action Step: Choose one calming practice and repeat it three times today. Think of it as strength training for your nervous system.

^{Love, Lola Graham}

Setting goals tells you what to do. Shifting identity changes who you believe you are—and research shows identity shifts can drive behaviour more sustainably.

Studies on self-identity and habit formation find that when people adopt identities like “I’m a exerciser” or “I’m someone who cares for my health,” their actions become more consistent over time.

Behavioural psychology and self-determination research suggest that actions aligned with identity feel more meaningful and require less willpower, while purely outcome-based goals can often fade once motivation dips.

This is an issue with many New Year's resolutions; people set goals often in opposition to their perceived identity rather than setting goals AND shifting identity.

For example, if a goal is to run 2x/wk, then to increase your likelihood of success:

Goals can be useful and provide direction, but pairing them with identity shifts are more powerful way to drive results and to make it easier to take action.

✅ Action step: Reframe a goal as an identity shift: instead of “I want to eat better,” try “I’m someone who eats healthy meals.” Then use your actions in line with this identity as evidence to reinforce it. 

PMID: 21516204, PMID: 17907866 

^{By: Joshua Graham}

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With love and care,

Lola & Joshua | The Living Well Team

^{Living Well Daily is for educational purposes only and is in no way a substitute for professional medical and mental health advice and diagnosis. Please consult a qualified professional for care unique to your needs.}

^{Remember: It’s okay to ask for help. Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988 (Canada & US).}