Welcome to Living Well Daily, the newsletter serving up a daily dose of care designed to support you, cheer you on and remind you, always, just how wonderful you already are.

In Today’s Edition:

🥰Well-Being & Self-Care: Control Fallacy: Escaping Thought Traps for Better Mental Health
💖Longevity & Wellness: Fitness Friday - Healthier Shoulders
✨Daily Affirmation & Daily Prompt

🪴Plants don’t ask for permission to take up space; they just grow and reach for the light. Stop asking for permission and grow how you want to, you are majestic!

Our minds often try to create certainty by sorting things into two extremes: either everything is in our control, or nothing is.

This is called the control fallacy. It can show up as over-responsibility (feeling like everything is on you) or helplessness (feeling like nothing you do matters). Both ends can feel heavy, stressful, and disempowering in different ways.

In reality, most of life lives in the middle: some things are within your influence, and many things are not.

Learning to tell the difference can ease pressure, reduce burnout, and help you focus your energy where it actually makes a difference.

Common ways the control fallacy shows up:
• 🎒 Feeling responsible for other people’s emotions or reactions
• 🛠️ Believing you must fix everything or hold everything together
• 😞 Feeling powerless in situations where you do have some influence
• 🔄 Swinging between over-controlling and giving up entirely
• ⚖️ Measuring your worth based on outcomes you can’t fully control

Ways to gently find the middle ground:
• 🥠 Ask: What is in my control, what is in my influence, and what is not?
• 🎯 Focus your energy on your actions, choices, and responses
• 🌿 Release responsibility for what belongs to others
• 🔄 Allow both effort and uncertainty to coexist
• 💙 Practice self-compassion when things don’t go as planned

You don’t have to carry everything, and you’re not powerless either. There’s a steadier, more supportive middle ground.

✅ Action step: Think of a situation that feels heavy right now. Divide it into three parts: what’s in your control, what you can influence, and what you can gently let go of.

^{Love, Lola Graham}

Most people never think about their shoulder blades, but they are one of the most important and most neglected parts of shoulder health.

Your shoulder blades, or scapulae, are not just passive bones sitting on your back. They are dynamic structures that need to move, rotate, and stabilize properly every time you lift, reach, push, or pull.

The scapula is the foundation of the shoulder as it provides the stable base that the rotator cuff muscles need to function correctly and creates the space the shoulder joint needs to move without impingement.

When the shoulder blades lose mobility or stop moving the way they should, the entire mechanics of the shoulder can be thrown off, which means it increases the risk of impingement, rotator cuff strain, and labral issues.

Here is a simple exercise to help get your shoulder blades moving again:

Step 1: Go onto all fours (hands and knees)

Step 2: Squeezing your shoulder blades together, like you’re trying to pinch a pencil on your spine. Pause here for a second.

Step 3: Now press your shoulder blades forward like you’re trying to roll the pencil off your spine. Pause here for a second.

This is a scapula push-up. It helps to get them moving and strengthens your lower traps and serratus anterior. If this is too easy, walk your knees back to add more weight to your arms. Once this is easy, straighten your legs and do them from the top of a push-up.

A key here is to keep your elbows locked. Often, people will bend their elbows to compensate for a lack of scapula mobility. Keep your arms straight the whole time to help ensure you’re moving from your scapula.

✅ Action Step: Try 10 scapula push-ups and see how it goes!

^{By: Joshua Graham}

^{A gentle invitation to integrate lived experience with kindness, perspective, and care.}

If this season of your life had a message, what might it be teaching you?

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With love and care,

Lola & Joshua | The Living Well Team

^{Living Well Daily is for educational purposes only and is in no way a substitute for professional medical and mental health advice and diagnosis. Please consult a qualified professional for care unique to your needs.}

^{Remember: It’s okay to ask for help. Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988 (Canada & US).}